I think my son is a catch / Barbara Karlin
Introduction / Nick Hornby
Sex is the most stressful thing in the history of the universe / Dan Vebber
Girls don't make passes at boys with fat asses / Andy Richter
Beware of math tutors who ride motorcycles / Will Forte
Persistence is for suckers / David Wain
The heart is a choking hazard / Stephen Colbert
Don't come on your cat / Neal Pollack
Technology can be friend and foe / Alex Gregory
Eggs must be broken / Tom Shillue
Women are never too young to mess with your head / Larry Wilmore
Keep some secret admirers secret / Eric Slovin
A grudge can be art / Andy Selsberg
I still like Jessica / Rodney Rothman
Don't leave too much room for the Holy Spirit / Tom McGarthy
I am a gay man / Dan Savage
Nine years is the exact right amount of time to be in a bad relationship / Bob Odenkirk
A dog is no reason to stay together / Damian Kulash, Jr.
Strange gifts can scare / Marcel Dzama
You too will get crushed / Ben Karlin
You can encapsulate feelings of regret, panic, and desperation in a two-and-a-half-minute pop song / Adam Schlesinger
Things more majestic and terrible than you could ever imagine / Todd Hanson
Always make her feel like she's #1 / Alex Gregory
Dirty girls make bad friends / A.J. Jacobs
Being awkward can be a prophylactic against dry humping / Matt Goodman
Lessons of a cyclical heart / Marcellus Hall
Dating a stripper is a recipe for perspective / Patton Oswalt
Sometimes you find a lost love, sometimes you don't / Bob Kerrey
Don't enter a karaoke contest near Smith College; you will lose to lesbians / Jason Nash
Get dumped before it matters / David Rees
It wasn't me, it was her / Rick Marin
She wasn't the one / Bruce Jay Friedman
Notes towards a unified theory of dumping / Sam Lipsyte.
